Secrets for successful co-habitation
Moving in with a partner is a big step – one that may require difficult decisions, numerous concessions and the diplomatic skills of a career politician. While teething troubles are inevitable, those that persevere will be rewarded by a new level of intimacy and the true feeling of togetherness that comes with a greater understanding of one other.
Money
Money, as they say, is the root of all evil. This is especially true in relationships where finances are tight. Deciding where money goes and who pays for what is the cause of many a newly integrated couple’s arguments. Decide how the bills are going to be divided from the outset, taking into account each other’s incomes and overall financial situation. Setting up direct debits will ensure that bills virtually never have to come up in conversation.
Space
People that live together don’t fuse into a single entity – they’re still individuals and may have possessions that are precious to their sense of who they are. Demanding a partner dispose of these things in the quest for more space is a guaranteed way to cause an argument. Instead, try to find ways to incorporate your partner’s precious things, such as storage boxes or new furniture. If space really is an issue, consider making sacrifices of your own.
Conscientiousness
Living with someone is all about the little things. Small acts of generosity – such as making your partner a cup of tea in the morning – can outweigh the negatives of a previous evening’s disagreement. Spend time thinking about what would make your partner’s life more enjoyable. Offer to help them do things, even when it’s not your official ‘turn’.
Purchases
As someone once paraphrased, ‘Those who buy together stay together’. Going shopping for shared household items is a wonderful way to gauge each other’s tastes and begin to find common ground. Start with small, relatively cheap items that neither party really minds compromising on, such as kitchen gadgets or cushions.
Whether you met your partner at work or after setting up a profile on the sites for free online dating UK couples are using, you’ll need to learn to compromise the day you move in together. You may have shared interests and your initial personality test may have told you that you’re compatible, but that doesn’t mean it will be a tension-free transition.
Follow the above advice to minimise any problems. And, above all, remember to be flexible. Couples that continue to stick rigidly to an idea of what a person should or shouldn’t be doing will argue. Those that allow their partners to change and develop are far more likely to live together harmoniously.
