Automotive dreams

It doesn’t seem to matter what kind of a car a person drives, it could always be better. It doesn’t matter whether you have the most tricked out Porsche or Escalade or the trashiest old Buick or Ford Festiva, you dream about a car that’s better. Maybe it’s some ultra-fancy James Bond style vehicle with an ejector seat (good for when the man sitting next to you starts to get too annoying). The thing is, all I dream about these days regarding my car these days is a really smooth ride. Apparently, the way to get a really smooth ride has to do with something called air suspension. Here’s the thing. Every time I get a new car, it seems like the greatest thing. So much of a smoother ride than my old pile of junk. So much classier. So much cleaner and with such great braking. Then, as it always must, the honeymoon ends. Within a few years, the car is not much more than a collection of worrisome noises.

Air suspension is apparently what makes certain high end vehicles, like limousines, have such an incredibly smooth ride, smooth enough that you could mix a martini without spilling a drop, probably smooth enough that you could perform brain surgery. The tragedy is that there’s really only one way to get that ultra-smooth air suspension ride in your car. You can purchase a really nice car like a Lexus, Rolls, Mercedes, Lincoln Town Car, Range Rover, etc. — cars that range from expensive to mega-super-duper expensive. That’s it. I was hoping you could purchase air suspension in the aftermarket. You can, but apparently people — mainly guys, I am sure — do that so they can get their cars to ride lower. I love the song “Lowrider” and everything, but what’s the appeal of that? I don’t get it.